Friday, April 19, 2013

Calm but out of it

OK...so I'm not really sure what kind of day today was. Good day? Not so bad bad day? Fighting off a bad day??? No idea. The night nurse told us this morning that Reagan woke crying around 3am so she gave her a dose of Lortab. That helped her to fall back asleep. She woke again around 7 and fussed a bit but no crying and after getting her diaper changed, she dozed back off. From 9-12 she was laying there half asleep, half awake. Quiet and still...we were afraid to touch her! Finally she was looking a little more alert so her nurse picked her up and sat with her. Not a peep. She was calm, very subdued...she almost seemed drugged (but she hadn't had anything that would make her groggy since 3am)! I came in and was looking at her and I'm not sure what it was...maybe her eyesight just wasn't cooperating and she couldn't focus, I don't know. She was doing something funny with her eyes. They were half open and looking to the side (which she does often enough, but they were more fixed). I didn't like it. Looked seizure-ish to me. Finally I got her to snap out of it and open her eyes wide. I'm still not sure what that was. Tonight she went back and forth from being slightly more alert, to looking like she could fall asleep at any moment. After laying her down, she kept jolting back awake over and over again. She does this sometimes when we're holding her...when she's first trying to doze off. She'll jolt awake, eyes wide open, arms pushed out against us. Same thing, only she was doing it in bed. She seems to have settled down now and doesn't appear to have moved in a while. Other than what the night nurse said about the crying last night (and slight fussing this morning)...it doesn't appear to have been a bad day. She's definitely out of it. She's not herself. Her hands and feet were ice cold and clammy today and her heart rate (even sleeping) was elevated and in the 140s. But she's been calm (maybe a little too calm) but she doesn't seem to be in pain. Ugh. Always worrying about my girl. Speaking of, I was reading a blog tonight Chasing Rainbows, about little Gavin Leong who passed away suddenly last week. A friend mentioned him to me today and then tonight on a completely unrelated google search I stumbled upon his blog! I went back and read some recent posts, all heartbreaking, and just so scary. Please keep his family in your prayers and pray that Reagan will fight off the bad days and be back to her happy self soon!

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