Thursday, December 1, 2011

Horrible day/night

Oh...I'm stressed! I have officially reached my breaking point. Reagan is still in a horrible place and this momma is NOT handling it well. I can't even look at her without breaking into tears right now. She was up the entire night last night...gagging, retching, and vomiting nonstop (and has continued all day)! She's going on 72hrs with no sleep and I, for one, am sick of watching her suffer like this. Her body wants to sleep (and she'll doze off for a few seconds at a time) but something just won't allow her to stay asleep. Why not take her to the hospital?!?! Because we've been there, done that. We spent an entire month there 2 yrs ago and they weren't able to do ONE thing to help her. She's resistant to nausea medications...she's resistant to pain medications. No one knows why her body goes through these cycles but ever since it started the only thing we could do is wait it out. So we sit here, watching her 24/7, unable to help her in any way. Feeling completely helpless and hopeless. I honestly thought it would be over by now. I can't believe this streak has continued on for as long as it has. These bad days are by far the worst bad days she's had since...well, since I don't even know when. I feel like we've been transplanted back to a time 2yrs ago. A horrible time. All I can do is sit back and cry for my girl. Tomorrow I'll take her to the pediatrician...hoping she has something easy...something normal, like strep throat...that would make this drag on the way it has. Mike watched Reagan while I took the first sleeping shift tonight (from 10-1). Since then I've been sitting up with her...crying. It's just so hard to watch. Kind of like I'm sitting here watching her suffer through one of the nine circles of hell. I know I sound dramatic right now, and maybe that's in part because of the sleep deprivation, but this is so painful. So I ask that you would keep praying. Pray that this stops. Pray for the nausea to go away. Pray that she gets the rest that she so desperately needs. And pray for us...because I don't know how much longer we can handle this!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Praying for you guys. I have not checked on Reagan in a while, and when I read your post I started to cry. So sorry things are so bad right now. You will be in my thoughts today. Praying for Reagan to have a long nap and to feel better`ASAP!!!!

((HUGS))
Shonda

The VW's said...

I'm so sorry! I understand that breaking point all too well, and when you reach it...it is very bad! Praying for comfort, peace, grace and good days soon! Hugs!!!

Clarissa said...

praying! i know how your feeling! may God grant you all some rest! POOR REAGAN! my heart breaks for you all!
hopefully it's not from the epi-743 drug. abigail is suppose to be starting it the end of this month or Jan.
I sooooo wish that the clonidine and diazepam worked for Reagan!
hugs!

Jamie said...

:( Lots of Hugs from CT. Reagan you are such a mystery to us all...sweet girl. Doctors see my madie and all I get is the same ol same ol...She has seizures..well DUH. and shes delayed well DUH. I pray you will find some relief and time to rest yourself. :(

Krissy said...

Praying you get rest you both desperately need and for relief for your sweet girl. I know its so hard to watch our babies suffer. Praying for strength for you and your husband both!

BBug said...

Praying hard...xoxo Kadie